

At age 11 you will put behind childish things like running, jumping, crawling, rolling, and holding more than one hand above chest height. You will replace them with gender performance so as to improve your Darwinian fitness, and you will enlist cars and other motorized components to move your body, which you will keep in a narrow photogenic posture at all times. Your only sanctioned experience of a childlike state will be through alcohol.













Carnivore bingo: puma, cougar, mountain lion, catamount…