Waiting for Jason Hickel’s memoir now

If there is discontent in the United States, however, the conversation is not, When is China going to invade? Or, you know, We really hope Cuba starts amassing outside of Miami.

So far I’ve seen most people make fun of a clickbaity title by rolling with it and taking it in stride, but I can add content warnings for those that can’t. Personally I think objectification hits different if one’s doing it to themselves.

Cholmondeley (/ˈtʃʌmli/ CHUM-lee)

Edit: wth did I find in Stoke-on-Trent

Donk_Owl

Oh boy, that’s a lot to read… I will just type out whatever comes to mind.

So, first off: what is “autistic catatonia”? I have never heard of this or even just “plain catatonia”.

there’s enough in what you’ve said that would make me want to look at whether undiagnosed ADHD is at play here and to go through an actual diagnostic process to either rule it in or to rule it out.

That’s basically where I’m already at regarding possible ADHD. I started the process at looking at counsel or whatever means of support available, so I want to get into that too. If only the municipality will get back to me…

If you literally feel like there’s some sort of physiological or psychological “block” that makes you sort of freeze up or buffer

I must say that I took your examples of crossing physical boundaries metaphorically: making that first step towards doing something is often scary to me, because it means I’ve committed to it and have to walk the path with uncertainty. I don’t experience it in the literal sense, except when it’s tied to such a moment, like leaving bed.

Other people here suggested timers and such. My mind worries that I’ll eventually start ignoring them anyway, but I should at least have tried it.

As for my “sensory diet”, I argue I have not enough stimulation, leading me to get lost in my own head in search of something to do.

Lastly, I want to say that I’ve grown up to be scared of negative reactions / criticism, in particular from my mom: she has quite unfiltered reactions and when I complain successfully places the blame on me. I think her + my autistic perfectionism has contributed the most to a fear of trying or not doing things perfectly.

I can confidently say it’s not burnout, at least. I have indeed considered if I might also have ADHD, but I haven’t looked into that yet. But what is “autistic catatonia”?

• It has been especially persistent since secondary school, when I could no longer ace every test without effort and homework loads increased dramatically.

• With stuff like school assignments, it’s almost certainly pathological demand avoidance (PDA) being at play, sometimes not even deadlines are enough and I turn in things late. BeamBrain brought it up but I knew of the concept beforehand. It however affects me most of the time, when I have to decide for myself on what to do.

• I indeed have trouble with delaying things to the last moment. It sucks: I’m either too passive and not doing anything or rushing and wearing myself out.

• Yes, yes, yes. Lots of buffering/lagging, also while I am doing something.

• I actually don’t get around to them often, aside from working out. When I am doing them, what often happens is that I am neglecting schoolwork, it piles up over 2-3 weeks and I then collapse in on myself. Instead i instinctively watch the one Discord server I’m in or play around on Google Maps, it’s like stimming behaviour.

• I hate how I will feel determined to do things when I go to bed and then have trouble getting up the morning after, regardless of how much I’ve slept. One thing I’ve noticed is how I often become tired when I get home from school, when I didn’t feel the need for rest earlier. Part of me suspects that I simply am not eating enough for all the walking to/from school and working out that I do.

• The order of things is very consistent, but when these things happen is not.

I also want to add that I often feel like I’m running on auto-pilot and that the sluggishness can be overcome with bursts of confidence and determination, but those happen irregularly. I also have a tendency for perfectionism.