“Yeah, I’m a red blooded American man. I drive a truck with truck nuts on it. I eat red meat that’s cooked in tallow. I eat a cereal called Man Cereal. If I absolutely need to drink water, I drink LIQUID DEATH. If I need vitamin C, I drink FRUIT BLOOD. I get my news from Joe Rogan (a leftist weed smoker), Tucker Carlson (a right winger whose head’s on straight) and Whisky Fridays (apolitical), so I consider myself a centrist. I love country music, I listen to whole playlists curated for my demographic about trucks, god, women and drinkin’ beer, and it’s only sometimes AI slop (which I cannot distinguish from a real artist). I could not name a single Hank Williams song. I live in a state where my vote is worth 6x that of someone from Commiefornia. I constantly drive with a blood alcohol level of 0.09 and 5 mph over the limit, which is fine because my uncle is the sheriff and my other uncle is a lawyer.”