Y’know, I used to think Americans couldn’t make good sketch comedy. I stand corrected. The ending’s great but the slow reveal of his plan that feels horribly inevitable right from the start is actual genius.

I have more than five cards because I have a library card, driver’s licence, etc…

like the chain would reach that far

One of the few things I still spend a bit more than minimum on is a good quality, durable wallet (last one was leather but I may look into a vegan alternative for next time. This one’s only like eight or ten years old though so plenty of life still in it…

Yeah, I find it hard to fully parse what’s going on with this guy but I do believe he is 100% honest about this shit. Like, yes it’s a bit, but part of the bit is that he truly believes it.

I don’t think everyone is reading it in bad faith, people have been primed to read it that way by the response. But I’m suspicious about that initial response, because it requires the responder to suggest that Hasan was arguing sanctions to end in exchange for “demands of democracy or anything else”. That’s suspiciously poor reading comprehension.

Come on, now. It only makes sense to think he is saying America should demand democracy in exchange for ending sanctions if you also think he would be okay with “anything else” in exchange for ending sanctions. I hate the guy but here he is obviously saying that American sanctions on Iran should be unilaterally ended.

Greenland doesn’t have a big enough population to stop the USA from seizing it. They would no doubt inflict extremely disproportionate losses if they chose to fight back, but 50k people are not stopping the US military, more’s the pity.

Edit: also Finland lost the winter war.

Actually, I read it the bad way first, because I hate Hasan. Then I noticed that to read it that way I had to believe that Hasan was calling for the end of sanctions in exchange for “anything else”, which is literal nonsense.

The good way requires you to ignore, forget, or not be aware of, the ins and outs of a program from a man who hasn’t been president in over a decade - Hasan being who he is that’s likely exactly why he made this error. Meanwhile, the bad way requires you to accept that Hasan was making an argument that is nonsensical on its face, in a vacuum and without context. It’s a significantly sillier reading and it doesn’t make sense to accept it unless you’ve gone in assuming that whatever he says is going to be painfully stupid.

26% body fat on a guy isn’t exactly svelte

It’s a fair point, actually. Test for performance, if they can do the thing who cares? If being fat really does stop people from doing the thing you’ll get rid of the fats pretty quickly anyway. If not you get to have more people who can do the thing.

That being said everyone should be kicked out of the US military obviously.

where are you buying your frangers?!

distinguishing between the different types of dash is bourgeois decadence

Okay, I absolutely love this.

Jesus fucking christ

Thanks, I hate it

Edit: which is to say I upbeared it and want it added as an emoji of course

Except the “Hasan bad” reading is clearly nonsensical, because no one would demand “anything else” in exchange for ending sanctions. People have just been primed for it by Squirrel’s bad take.

I hate Hasan as much as anyone but that is clearly not what he is saying. Just reading to the end of the sentence makes that crystal clear, unless you think Hasan is saying that America should end the sanctions “in exchange for anything else”. That’s clearly nonsense. He’s saying America should end (sanctions in exchange for demands of democracy), not end (sanctions) (in exchange for demands of democracy). “In exchange for demands of democracy” is part of his description of the sanctions that should be ended.

Please don’t put me in a position where I defend this lib Zionist democrat loving POS. He sucks real bad and is wrong more often than not, so can we just go after him for his actual bad takes, not when he stumbles over his own dick into a correct position?

The response is an inaccurate framing of the tweet it’s responding to. Reading it as advocating “ending sanctions in exchange for demands of democracy” involves failing to finish reading the fucking sentence. I can accept people reading the commentary and being primed to think Hasan is saying something shitty, but that initial reading has gotta be a deliberate misrepresentation. Squirrel I think is not just being illiterate, they are being malicious.

I fucking hate being maneuvered into defending Hasan but we can do better than this.

The tweet is saying that America must end the sanctions unilaterally, not that it should end them “in exchange for demands of democracy”. It’s clumsily worded but the final clause makes it clear that he thinks they should end the sanctions unilaterally.